I am noticing as my two sons approached their teenage years some changes in their emotional growth towards adulthood. As a parent, the one thing that concerns me the most is to not let my two sons isolate themselves . I realize that as they get older that they need their privacy and I respect that. Although they keep connected with their peers whether it be with the iPhone, iPad, online video gaming, or socializing via the Internet, they tend isolate themselves physically from what's going on around them and within the household.
Many parents in the world find the same troubles when dealing with their teens. Hope you don’t get them. But if you do, don’t worry, realizing this form of privacy does not strengthen families or encourage emotional or social growth is the first step to getting your household back in order. Do you think your teen is out of control and never wants to listen to you?Just like when you were a teenager, you wanted to spend times with your peers rather than with your parents or family, right? Your teen feels the same way, too. Making his own decision is another important thing for him besides privacy.
If you think your teen is out of control and never wants to listen to you,don’t give up! Of course you can help yourself deal with your teen. The best way to do it is to always strengthen your relationship with him. But how? Keep on reading to get some solutions.
Here are some solutions to achieving a parent/teen relationship;
1. Talk with him more – It’s better if you start the conversation. It can be just “How was your day, buddy?” Try to discuss many things instead of interrogate him. Find interesting topics, such as sport, entertainment, friends, and school experience to make it relaxing.
2. Listen to him – If he reveals his criticism to you, listen to him and ask what he expects you to do. Talk about this wisely, not emotionally. It’s good for him to be able to express the feeling.
3. Set rules for him – Your teen needs to recognize what is and isn’t acceptable and what the consequences of misbehavior are. Therefore you should set, or precisely, negotiate some rules with your teen to keep him on track.
4. Consider his point of view – Regard your teen as your friend and respect his opinion whenever you discuss something. This also shows that you pay attention to him and consider him as important.
5. Encourage your teen by doing his interests and talent – Most teens like to try new things. Let yours choose what he desires, though you don’t agree with it because, for example, it can endanger him. Giving him support is the best you can do, while you keep monitoring that the new activity is safe for him. Moreover, this idea is a good way of teaching your teen on how to be responsible with things he does.
6. Do things together – This one is surely a great opportunity for you to improve your relationship with your teen. Why? ‘Cause you probably haven’t had much time to spend with him. Arrange an agenda for the whole month. In each week, plan something interesting and it really doesn't have to involve spending a lot of money or anything really exciting.
Looking at the last point, try to think of some activities you both can do together. For example, any projects that need to be done around the house- involve your teen. I learned a lot of things over the years and I find it enjoyable to teach my sons any of the skills I've learned. As parents we need to stimulate their minds and their ability to communicate to keep them from becoming an island. Good positive communication without underestimating your teen is a key to successful relationship between the two of you. Clearly it won’t work at once. So try the tips progressively and enjoy your time being a parent of a teenager. And remember that achieving a parent/teen relationship is active parenting.
By Dave Armstrong: Authentic dads.com